Sunday, April 29, 2012

Well......

  A friend, that I didn't get to know well is on her last days it looks like.  I haven't been able to get through to her on the phone of late, though there was a bit of a lag of time that I hadn't talked to her.  I just found out she is in fact not doing well, and so I feel it's important to go talk to her, even if she's not awake, if you will.  I knew this was coming, and it is sad, but she is a woman strong in her faith, and I think even now she is okay.  I don't know if I will go more than once.  I don't know.
  Cancer is running rampant among people.  I always heard of people getting it, and I know it's not just because I have had it, that I notice more, but seriously everywhere I turn someone else is having this to contend to.
I have been stressing out because I'm suppose to do a scan, oh pretty much about now.  I really don't want to do this.  Knowing my personality I will.  The idea of follow up scans I would insist on anyone else doing, but when it comes to me, I just don't want to.  I will skip the reasons why.
   As far as follow up on this blog, I still wear a wig, my hair is growing but it is short, and I'm not a female that will do the super short hair look.  As far as the rest of me, I'm over a couple months sober, the last few days have been depressed.  Still contend with manic depression, and it's not a picnic.  I have had 3 periods since my body went haywire during chemo, my body is balancing out, this does not guarantee that I am able to have children, though likely it is a good sign.  The older I get, I'm not so sure about kids anyway.  So, that is a brief update...leaving out quite a lot I suppose.. but I don't care to talk about this topic all that much unless it can directly benefit someone else.  Then I want to, as then it means something, this whole experience means something, if I can be there for another.

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