Friday, November 2, 2012

Cat Scan Results and an Update

Yay!  I am clear, the scan was awesome, great results, my lymph nodes look good things are going well.   I broke into tears when she told me, yesterday and today were difficult, I don't think people understand how scary that is to face even if one is cancer free.  The actual scan yesterday, well I feel like it's all very invasive, and I'm burnt out on it, yet I know it's awesome the medical technology, needless to say I wasn't a happy camper yesterday and today got better once I got my results.
  People who've had cancer or have been very close to someone can understand, but not like someone that's been through the whole ordeal.  I also kept thinking of this girl, wondering what happened to her, and her ongoing battle it seemed she had to deal with.
  I watched the clock this morning ticking, slowly, waiting for the awesome staff member who's been there since the beginning, she walked by and said she'd be right in, I tried to analyze those words, were they heavy, neutral, positive..... and in the end great news!!
   Anyway it was a busy day, one of the things I did to treat myself was buy some stuff for my hair, okay and I bought a programmable coffee pot as well, and...... lol just playing.  Thank God all is well, really thank God...
  So I want to hit the gym harder coming up which I shall after I get over this minor cold.  What else was I going to say..... I guess I could update my life, and if I've written this part, oops, I can't remember it's so sporadic now....
  I still model a bit, I've been doing spokes modeling of late, a bit here and there.  I will stay open to other genres, there's been interest here and there for small projects but logistics have to be navigated.....  and ..... currently I mentor teens, I volunteer at the AIDS coalition, I bring a meeting into a rehab center, um.....chair a meeting.....well all sorts of things, really my goal is to do God's will, whatever that may be, to help others if I can.  I think we all have that capacity.  Though I screw up as much as I help I suppose....eeek.....

Alrighty then, I'm rambling, today was a good day for me, dealing with just a scan, brings up all sorts of feelings for me.  Oh yeah I'm still sober.....not quite a year, that truly is just about today, I have relapsed more times than I'd like to admit, well who cares, if I knew how many I'd tell you, all been a huge learning experience...  thanks for all your support.... love you guys! <3 <3 <3



  1. WHEWWW!!!!! BIG DEEP BREATH today, thinking of you so much latley!!! I'm glad you went out and treated yourself, that's what we should do next time I come up...treat ourselves that is!!! Perhaps a pedi, I'm sure you know of a great place!

  2. Very happy!!! Good to see you coming along miss~take care and continue to help others - it is so nice to see your strength. Peace.