Sunday, January 1, 2012

"Deep Like That"

  2012.  Here we are...chemo is back day after tomorrow.  Two weeks flies in my world. So anyone reading, I really could use all your vibes and/or prayers.  healing light, good juju, you get it.  After this round I have a scan to see if it's all gone...I have already stated this, but it's not that many days away now.  January 11, 2012.  I don't know if I've been scared or not.  Quite likely yes, I don't want this process to drag on and on.  It is not in my control entirely.  Positive thinking, visualization all of that is good, but how good is it when inside I feel as if I'm faltering and doubtful in ways about this test?
  On an up note, I feel like I've risen to the challenge of all this bullshit.  And yes, it's an amazing learning experience or a learning experience, but it is a whole lot of bullshit.  I've done the wig thing, and proven I'm not a total vain being in ways.  I've eaten the nausea away.  I've dealt with pain.. this that and the rest.  Hot flashes...blah, blah, and blah...
  For some reason in a way I feel if I didn't get the lesson in all of this well enough then it will go on.  Many would be of the school of thought that it's not deep like that.  I'm not so sure most life experiences aren't "deep" like that.
Naturally I don't know who the anonymous people who comment are, but thank you for your words and support as well as my friends that have posted on here.... and everyone who reads!!! thank you


  1. You can do this. I'll be sending you all the good juju I can. Stay strong friend, I know it's not easy. Stay strong you've got this! :)

  2. thanks :) much appreciated for sure!

  3. To all that are here and those yet to come, healing manna headed your way. A wish for health in this year of rhe dragon. Find peace, in not so easy of a lesson.

    Much Love...

  4. In reply to the latest comment, I agree, "for all here and those yet to come"...your whole comment is wonderful, beautiful really, I am feeling it <3