Tuesday, October 18, 2011


So I wrote this long blog and it was wiped out...I was surprised I hadn't mentioned sterility, which there is a 50%-60% chance of....I could write about how I've wanted children, on how I've flip flopped on the topic, on how I nearly was a mother once and didn't carry full term, on how I love peeing on ovulation sticks, I could branch off into each diatribe, but really all in all my head is on a shelf at this time on the topic.  I can't stress the unknown, though it bothered me that I hadn't mentioned it, because that truly brings my story up to date....I have often said I feel cosmically ripped off, you'd have to know my life story to understand that one, or at least from my early twenties on, anyway I don't feel that way right now.  It seriously is one thing at a time...I completely have to let go...and being type A this is probably good for me....
  Now that I've started writing, it's falling out of me, the words...I'd like to write about many aspects of my life, I'm sure they will leak out in here, they already have...but primarily this will be cancer focused...body, mind, spirit...this random part I'm suppose to play for awhile, and let me tell you it feels totally random....
   I didn't sleep well last night (don't worry hopefully this blog won't be about details such as my sleeping patterns, etc, eh but we never know with me, I like to ramble) and my body aches, which doesn't really make sense because my cancer is pretty much a painless one...hmmm or not....idk
here's a song I really like that was introduced to me by a meanie, I love the animation, and was drawn to it right before I found out I think....it's pretty~

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